Cruise Vacation day 7 part two - boys day in cozumel

Jon is way more descriptive than I am!  Here is his account of his day in Mexico with Damon.



Me and Damon in Cozumel

After getting off the ship we walked down the giant flee market of gift shops and booze yards that is Puerto-Maya. We pretty much sped walked so as not to get ambushed by the swindlers holding out their overpriced ‘made in China’ Mexican trinkets.

After arriving at the taxi terminal we hugged and kissed the girls goodbye and sent them off on their dolphin adventure. Damon and I then wandered a bit and discussed whether or not we wanted to head straight for Paradise Beach or look around and see what else there was to do on the island. In my experience, the spontaneous adventures tended to be the most fun so I convinced Damon to check out what kinds of excursions the local peddlers on the side of the road were selling.

Approaching the road, we saw a 40ish year old guy holding a big sign advertising various local adventures. He introduced himself and Haylor (or something) and asked us if we were looking for a good time. It sounded weird but we knew what he meant. We considered the various possibilities which included a 3-hour dune buggy tour around the island or zip lining or snorkeling, etc. I let Damon pick the activity since it was his first time in Cozumel. We finally decided on a snorkeling and lunch activity. It was $25 for each of us after a bit of haggling which didn’t seem too bad. We paid Haylor and he fetched us a taxi which we took to a local beachside restaurant/bar.

On the way Damon and I started speaking to each other in Russian so the taxi driver wouldn’t understand. Damon seemed nervous that Haylor conned us out of our money and that the taxi was going to drive us to the middle of nowhere and dump us off. I told him that kind of stuff may happen in Jamaica or Russia but not a place as touristy and small as Cozumel. I was praying to be right. It felt pretty good to speak Russian with Damon, even if it was just a little bit. We had our own little code that nobody else could understand. It was like telepathy.

After about a 10 minute drive we arrived at a slightly dingy restaurant bar across the street from a rocky shore. We were greeted by a pair of Mexican tour guides who took a slip of paper that Haylor had given us indicating what we had paid for. One of them asked for payment which we had already given Haylor. I’m sure he already knew of the arrangement and was trying to scam some extra dough out of us. He wasn’t very persistent about it though.

After locking our belongings up in a home-made looking wooden locker outside the restaurant, we followed one of the tour guides a little way up the road and then into the water where we dawned a pair of flippers and snorkel masks. It was not a sandy beach and I stubbed my toe pretty badly on a rock which pealed a layer of skin off and burned the rest of the day. That was only the first of many injuries that both Damon and I suffered throughout the day. Eventually it just became funny. We had fun anyway though.

Snorkeling off the shore of the restaurant was neat but less impressive than our previous excursions. The waves were a bit choppy and the water was a bit murkier than usual for Cozumel since a storm passed over just the day before. There were some interesting things to look at and Damon got some good pictures.  

After about a 20 minute swim we came back to the restaurant and rinsed off the sea water under an outside shower. Lunch was included in our tour which was served shortly after. We had fajitas (I had fish, Damon had pork) with rice and beans. Damon ordered a virgin pina colada which we shared.  

An old man standing out by a gift shop kiosk by the road summoned Damon over to show him his wears. I stayed behind to finish my food when I heard Damon start laughing historically. He coaxed me over and showed me an apron souvenir he was wearing. Then he lifted it up to reveal a fabric penis attached to the underside of the apron on a string. We got a couple of pictures of us wearing a pair of them. Shannon and Andrea weren’t amused when they saw them on the camera later that day.

After lunch we caught another taxi to Paradise Beach. It was only $3 to get in but we were told there was a mandatory food purchase of $10 (not enforced). We bought a couple of passes to play on the inflatable toys floating off the shore for $15 each and immediately jumped into the water. Paradise Beach was impressive the first time I visited 6 years ago and had since expanded quite a bit. There were at least twice as many inflatable platforms to play on including pyramids, water trampolines, slides, seesaws, etc. There was also a very large freshwater pool by a restaurant bar and at least a hundred beach chairs with umbrellas and tables set out for us to use.

It didn’t take long for me to wear myself out swimming back and forth on the inflatables. Pulling ourselves up on them with the hand holds became difficult. We took lots of pictures and videos of us going down slides and jumping off the sides of high platforms.  I would say we had the most fun on the sea saw. Several children decided to join us. The combined weight of mine and Damon’s flab tipped the inflatable sea saw back and forth much more swiftly and violently than the children could have done alone. We got thrown off several times and drank a few gallons of sea water but it was all in good fun. A few other injuries followed so and eventually we decided to take it easy for the rest of the day.

After a couple hours of fun in the water and a bit of dehydration we went to the bar and ordered a couple of bottles of water and a very large pina colada in a 2’ tall souvenir cup.

 After a bit more playing and picture taking we decided it was time to go and rinsed off in the fresh water pool. We filled our empty water bottles with the bizarre, course Cozumel island sand to take home as souvenirs.

 As we were headed out to find a taxi Damon handed me the cash I gave him to hold onto in his waterproof container so it wouldn’t get soggy. As I looked down to put it in my fanny pack pouch that carried my passport and other documents, I noticed it was unzipped and hung wide open and empty. Evidently my passport card, driver’s license, insurance card, sail and sign card and credit card had all escaped and were floating in the Gulf of Mexico somewhere. I started to panic as we scampered back to the beach in hopes of finding them but it was no use. They were gone. I was certain I had officially become a Mexican citizen.

We split a taxi van with a few other people and drove back to the port. Hearts pounding and eyes wide open, Damon and I made every effort to avoid anyone in uniform as we scurried between the gift shops toward the ship. Eventually we reached a security check point where several Mexican guards were checking sail cards of those returning to their ships. After Damon showed his documents to a guard I pulled out my fanny pack and pretended like I just noticed my documents were missing. We asked what we should do and he pointed us toward another pair of guards at a podium station who looked preoccupied. As we started toward them the guard checking for documents turned away to inspect the next group behind us. The two at the podium didn’t look up or notice us so we simply kept walking as if nothing was wrong. We slipped by hastening our pace while swerving in and out of the crowds.

When we finally got back to the ship (after it started pouring rain on us) we met the Carnival security guard at a second check point where Damon and I begged and pleaded for him to let us back on the boat. He looked me up on his computer by my room number and carefully compared me with my picture on his screen. I supposed all of us white boys look the same because it took him about 2 minutes and a bunch of questioning to decide if it were really me. Finally I got back on board and Damon went to buy a few trinkets back at the flee market. Overall, getting back on the boat to America with no documentation was much easier than I expected it to be. I supposed the security measures were so lax because Obama was in charge. Replacing my sail and sign card was no big deal. After I was able to get back into my cabin, I took a shower and waited for Shannon and Andrea to show up which wasn't more than 20 minutes later. Then we told each other about our day and showed off our souvenirs.